# Of Days On Diet Current Weight Start Weight Goal Weight Total Pounds Lost
341 192 237 140 45

April 30, 2000

I pulled some muscles in my legs somehow because they are really soreÖOuch! I donít know how it happened but it did. Okay, I must confessÖmy motivation for exercise is at an all time low. Shame on me! I got the Tae-Bo tapes on Friday so I have no excuse for not exercising but my motivation is not there. Hello Motivation, Are You Out There? Where Are You? Why Did You Leave Me? How Can Get My Groove Back On Because I Miss You?!?! Okay, itís been simply out of my own laziness. I, Kellie, must admit to being lazyÖand I have to get off my butt and start doing something about it. So why am I not exercising? Iím truly making excusing for myself like: itís better at the gym and I really canít get a good workout at home. Well thatís pure bullshitÖI have to stop making excuses for myself and get back to exercising. I can do it! I can do it!

I forgot to write that I went the gyn and she thinks my problem of spotting during midcylce was due to my losing the weight so she put me on birth control for 3 months so it will regulate my body. Okay, I must admit I am not to thrilled about this birth control thing because I was on it when I was 20 and I felt icky on it. She said she gave me a low dose pill and everything should workout all right but if when I quit the birth control in 4 months and the bleeding returns, I need to come back in. She said everything looked normal and she will get in contact with me next week if my pap comes back with abnormal cells. Hopefully this was the case. People say when women are heavy they have trouble with their periods but I was always normal. I can pinpoint when my period is going to occur and when I am due to ovulation so I guess I was lucky. Weíll see.

Since TOM showed up today, I am still at 192Ömaybe I should rename my page as ďKellieís Maintenance JourneyĒ just kidding. To tell you the truth, I donít mind maintaining so much as long as I am not gaining! I never thought this journey was going to be fast so Iím happy my progress so far. Well thatís it for me tonight, take care all-Kellie

April 28, 2000

Where have I been?!?!?! Sorry folks, I had to go to Louisville unexpectedly to do some paperwork for my internship. I had a disk that contained my casenotes for a client and they were destroyed. I had a backup copy of the files but they only contained a partial amount of the notes so I had to take care of it in person. While I was in Louisville, I took care of some school stuff like exit interviews for financial aid. Then I went to Teresaís on Wednesday and yesterday afternoon I came home. I was so tired last night, I just checked my email and I didnít fool with the computer. I guess everyone has days like that were all they want to do is to avoid the computer.

While I was in Louisville, I went to Goodwill. I love Goodwill! I found 6 boxes of vintage stockings, in mint condition, and they are worth about $25 a box. I was rummaging around the T-shirt section and I saw them, my eyes lit up like a firecracker. Itís a rare treat to find such a thing like these little treasuresÖhum; maybe my finds will help me buy a digital camera finally! Iím an avid collector of vintage clothing but I must admit since the nylons are so expensive, I think Iím going to sell them on ebay. I might keep a box but I kind of need the cash right now. Speaking of cash, my research professor wants me to post his syllabus on the web and show him some computer tricks. He said that the Kent School will pay for it so Iíll go for that.

The weight thing is going good. So now, I am just waiting on my Tae-Bo tapes. Hopefully they will be here today because I want to get a decent workout sometime. Come on Tae-Bo!! Or maybe I should say, come on UPS!

I had a call for a job interview today. Itís exactly what I want tooÖitís for working at a camp with youth out in Pennsylvania. Itís a major company and they pay really well. They want me to meet up with an interviewer in Columbus or Cincinnati, Ohio. Cross your fingers for me because I want a job from this company! Well thatís it for me today, take care all-Kellie

April 24, 2000

Exercise: Walk in the hillsÖokay I counted it as exerciseÖI think it isÖ

I made it through school. I, Kellie, have completed my graduate work as a Master of Social Work candidate. I am done, finished, completed, yet I feel like I am just starting with things. I feel like I am jumping in the tides right now and seeing where they take me. Iím not too sure about what I am going to do but Iíve found a few jobs on the net so I think I might respond to them. Ideally I would like to work beginning in mid-June, I feel as if I am burnt out a bit so I am looking forward to some much-needed rest. I figure I will be bopping back and forth between London and Louisville during the next month or so. I need to conserve all the cash I can so I will stay mostly with my folks. My sister is graduating May 6th and I am graduating May 14th so I will be doing a lot of traveling too. Iím in a wedding in June and the shower is the 7th of May but I donít know if I want to attend it. Does that sound strange? I know this sounds really cheap but I simply donít have enough money to attend it and give a gift. Plus itís up in Clarkston, Michigan so I would have to stick around there with Shawn and I really donít want to do that. Besides, I wonít know anyone at the party besides the bride and the matron of honor so whatís the point? I havenít really chatted with Sarah since I graduated from CMU and we are good friends but they are closer to Shawn so sometimes I believe I am a package deal. Iíll get over it!

We had steaks on the grill for Easter and they were so yummy. I didnít overeat but I ate healthy. Youíre probably wondering how can you eat healthy with that big hunk of meat, right? Well, I had no sour cream and I had some light butter with my potato. That country crock light butter is some good stuff. Though, I must admit a few days last week I didnít eat so healthy. I ate a lot of fast food and I made some unwise choices but it was ďeasierĒ for meÖI was like a dead chicken with my head cut off last week so I admit to do some stupid things like eat burgers and fries. But I turned that around on Saturday and Iíve been doing great since. Itís easy to eat healthy at my folks because they are very health conscious. Even though I messed up last week, I stayed the same. What a wonderful feeling!!!

Well, I did it finallyÖI broke down and bought a tae-bo tape and I only paid $22 for it and I got both tapes. I used the Amazing Bargains website for coupons and I got $10 off! How great is that. Whenever I shop online, I use that site because they have coupons for just about every major online store. I figured I need to exercise and possibly tae-bo will help me. Iím still debating on that YMCA membership but I think I will hold off on that for now. Well thatís it for me today-Kellie

April 19, 2000

No exercise today!

Iím not picking up my phone tonightÖIím avoiding someone. Yes, how childish but Iím avoiding talking to a school friend because she waited to the last minute to do things and now she wants some help. I made time for her last week but she didnít show so now, I am avoiding her. Besides, I have a ton of stuff to do so I really donít have time for her anyways. Besides, Iíve being doing researching all dayÖIím sick of others research!! I took a picture of my school friends at my place. Teresea is in the middle and Yvette is on the side. They came over tonight and I have the Kent Schools digital camera so I took a few pics.

I guess Iím not having the best day todayÖI hit a pole by my garage and it scratched the hell out of my car. I canít believe I did that! I guess I wasnít paying attention to what was going on around me and I misestimated myself. Oh my black beauty! (my carís nickname). Ah, only two more days of school! Can I make it? Yes!!! Take care all-Kellie

April 17, 2000

Exercerise: 32 laps and machines.

Argh!! The 50m lanes are here to stay. I hate Ďem because now there are less lanes in the pools. To top things off, more people are swimming in the morning. Today, I was forced to swim in the shallow lanes and I hate them because my times are bad. I donít know why they were bad but I honestly swim slower in the shallow lanes. Humm, hopefully, I can capture a decent lane tomorrow morning when I swim. Since Iíve been busy lately, I havenít been able to work out as much as I would like. I need to do something! I think the Tae-bo tapes are the answer because soon I will be at my folks and I will have nothing to work out with. I could go back to the YMCA but the people in London suckÖtheir attitudes are so icky, itís a mans world down there, and I donít want to be a part of that. Iíll find something to do though.

Shawn came down this weekend and it went okay until SundayÖit was like okay, I had fun but go home now. I canít explain it, but I felt like I wanted to run him out. Iím not used to being a full time girl friendÖI want my space and by Sunday I wanted my apartment back. Is that normal? Maybe itís the separation, maybe Iím not used to being a girlfriend but he was overly sensitive this weekend, it was like I had to watch what I said, I had to be ware of his feelingsÖhumm, I canít explain it.

Thunder was awesome on Saturday. Louisville really knows how to put on a firework show. I LOVE LOUISVILLE!!! I hate the thought of movingÖmy apartment lease is over on the 30th of June. I love my apartment, gosh what does my future hold? Why canít I wake up 6 months from now and be settled. When Iím looking at the jobs in the paper they seem uneventful. I know Iím heading back up for Michigan because of the money and possibly for Shawn but I hate change. I want to come back to Louisville in 2 years to get my Ph.D. in social work. I know I can do it and I will do it. So I have hope. Maybe I like it here because I feel at home, I feel comfortable, I have good friends, but things are going to change, people will move on. But Iíll have good memories of my grad school experience and living here in Louisville.

I stayed the same this week and thank god I did because I ate like crap this weekend. Somehow I have to integrate diet into my social relationship because whenever Shawn is around we eat outÖand I didnít eat healthy. It was my fault for choosing the higher fat meals but damn, when am I going to learn? Iím such a social eaterÖhow do I change?!?!? Well thatís it for me, take care all-Kellie

April 13, 2000

At the pool yesterday, they opened the 50m lanes and they take up most of the pool. 50m lanes are good but I prefer my 25m lanes because a 50 is too long, I get tired real quick and I get confused on how many lanes Iíve swam. Oh well!

Okay this is a chic topic but I have to ask itÖsince dieting has anyone noticed changes in their menstrual cycle? For the last few months, Iíve been spotting blood during my ovulation timeÖitís just a spec that changes the color of the discharge. It happens right around ovulation and goes away after that. Since this has been happening for the last few months, Iím going to go to the gynecologist. I must admit I havenít had a yearly check up in the last two years, so I really need to go. At first I thought it was nothing but itís a pattern now, so Iím mildly concerned. Maybe itís the diet or the exercise but all I have to say is that I need to get it checked out. My appointment is set up for the 24th of April. I hope everything is okay.

How strange is life and people looking you up from your past? My high school best friend just sent me an email through info space. Info space doesnít give out your email but they send a relayed message. Hereís her message:

i've been trying to find you for a while now. i been wondering how you're doing and i would like to talk to you again, i miss you. so if you would like to talk please e-mail me i would love to hear from you. love, tracey

So Iím curious. I think Iím going to email her. She was awful to me in high school and I allowed her to crush my teenage self-esteem. Iím less angry with her now but itís still hard to get over things that people did to you in your past. She followed me up to Central Michigan but dropped out after her first semester. Her dropping out was the best thing that ever happened to me because I wouldnít have made it at CMU if she would have stayed. Funny how things happen in lifeÖhave you ever thought how others really impact your life course? Humm, ponderous!

Today Shawn is coming down and we are going to my internshipís GalaÖitís one of those fancy foo-foo parties. Its $150 a head to attend but volunteers get to go for free. I would make so type of donation but currently, I am financially challenged. Iím going to dress up in a skirt and top (I like) and Iím going to attempt to do my hair. Iím one of those natural chicís were I hate makeup and I donít curl my hair. The last time I curled my own hair myself was when I was a freshman in college! Can I do it? Hopefully because I donít have the cash flow to get it styledÖbesides, I need a hair cut so if I got it styled I would have to get it cut and that would add up. I have no idea what I am going to do with my hair after I get out of school because part of me wants it shorter and the other part of me wants it long or heck, maybe I should get a make-over. That would be fun. Well, take care all-Kellie

April 10, 2000

I had a good weekend and it was great to see my folks again. Shawn is coming down on Thursday to visit me. I havenít seen him since January and we left on sort of bad terms. Basically, I was pissed at him because he did something real stupid. We got in an argument on Saturday over the phone because ďIĒ forgot to call him. Honestly, it was my mistake because I forgot. He called me all pissed off saying ďWEREíNT YOU GOING TO CALL ME??Ē , I told him I thought it was his turn, and I forgot. Then he copped an attitude with me and I got after himÖhell, he isnít going to treat me like shit because I forgot. I had a busy week last week so it slipped my mind. I almost broke up with him on Saturday, I didÖsometimes I get so pissed because well I do. I told him I was less than thrilled to come back to Michigan but I was going to do it for us. Then he said at least we could have a weekend relationshipÖWow, I go to a long distance relationship to a weekend relationship, how quaint! Iím confused as usual with him, I canít picture him not in my life but I canít picture a future with himÖdoes that make any sense at all? Oh well, heís coming down so weíll see how we interact. Iíll let you know how we do.

Thunder Over Louisville is going to Saturday, thatís one reason why I had Shawn come down because itís so awesome. Itís the nation's largest fireworks display plus itís loads of fun. If you are remotely close to Louisville, geographically, you really need to come down here to experience the fun of it. Iím trying to get a bunch of people from school to get together and watch the show. That would be fun.

Well, I finally lost a pound this week. It was sure nice to see that scale move down, just think, I have only 52 more pounds until goal! Thatís it for me tonight, take care all-Kellie 237/192/140 52 more pounds to go!!!

April 8, 2000

I had a fabulous presentation yesterdayÖmy Prof. gave me the thumbs up. He said that I have grown as a presenter because I get up there and Iím confident. My power point presentation was spectacularÖI really out did myself because I added some pictures so it amazed everyone. Itís amazing how PowerPoint can really make a presentation look professional. Iím so glad itís done because my presentation was like my thesis. I just have a paper to turn in on Tuesday for my psychopathology class, I have a notebook due in two weeks, and I have a research fair on Good Friday and then I am done. Amazing eh?

I was extremely tired when I got home yesterdayÖI felt like my battery had been drained so I laid down for a couple of hours. I was going to go to bed earlier but I am addicted to CBSís new mini-series Falcone. Itís been on every night since last week and Iíve watched it since Monday and Iím addicted. The one thing that Iíve noticed since Iíve been watching TV this week during that time is the amount of commercials from the movie ďFail SafeĒ on Sunday and Microsoftís commercial with Bill GatesÖis that Microsoftís way of calming stockholders, I know he lost a lot of money last week but isnít it costly to buy that much TV time? Anyways, those commercials are boring and played way too muchÖmaybe theyíll go away.

My parents are coming to Louisville today so that will be nice. We are going to go out to eat and zip around town. I love having company and their visit will help me relax a little. Well thatís it for me, take care all-Kellie

April 5, 2000

I must admit, I lost control tonight for the first time in a long time. Please let the diet goddess forgive me because my friend Teresa came over tonight and she brought a pizza. Folks, this wasnít any ordinary pizza but it was thick crust and spicy sauce pizza topped with cheeseÖare yíall picturing it yet? Well, I let the pizza control me and I ate 3 large pieces...Okay, so I admit, I was emotionally eating because of this stressful presentation that I have to do on Friday but it tasted so good going doing my stomach. But I have to say, Iím feeling like a large piece of lard right now because the pizza is so heavy on my stomachÖnever again..yuck, I hate that overly full feeling. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

Okay, Iím going to make it this week but I canít wait Ďtil the weekend so I can get a day of rest because all I can think about is my school work. I wake up thinking about my research project, I go to sleep thinking about it but soon it will be over. Thank God! Unfortunately, I have no time to work out. I think tomorrow morning, Iím going to hit the weight room early because I really need to train because Iíve been doing so good. Weíll thatís it for me tonight because I need to get some sleep, so take care all-Kellie

April 4, 2000

Exercise: Swimming and weights

When I went swimming today they had the 50m lap lane open so I decided to swim in it. Iím used to swimming in the 25 meter lap lanes and all I have to say is those 50m lanes kick butt! Granted my times were slower but it gave my arms a workout. I also worked out with the weightsÖconcerning the weight room; there is one thing that pisses me off. For the third time in two weeks the workout room monitor introduces herself to me and asks ďAre you new here?ĒÖgranted that my looks do occasionally change and sometimes I come in with a wet head but good grief, why does she think Iím new and why does she keep on introducing herself to me? Maybe itís because Iím quiet in thereÖwhen I go in there, I go to workout, I donít feel like chatting, Iím focused, Iím driven, and I could care less about what is going on around me. Most people that workout there like to chit-chat with the monitor, maybe thatís why she doesnít recognize me but if she asks me one more time if Iím new, Iím going to burstÖ

I knew MSU was going to take itÖIíve been saying it to my friends all along. So congratulations Spartans! I always liked MSU, I flirted with the idea of transferring there my sophomore year but I loved Central Michigan too much. My sister transferred to MSU her sophomore year because she went to a small school named Oakland University. She went there initially so she could be close to home but by her sophomore year, she realized that she couldnít stay there because they didnít offer the program she wanted so she decided to transfer to state. It was a wise choice and sheís done wellÖshe just got accepted to MSUís speech pathology program with a full ride so I guess sheís going to graduate school now. Iím glad because she really needed to pursue her graduate degree because her B.S. is worthless without a Masterís. Isnít that the story with most college degrees now anyways! Well take care all-Kellie

April 2, 2000

Yuck, I have to work tonight, I should have never signed up for a shift but I needed the money. Plus to top things off I have too much to do and too little time to do it in. This week is going to be awful. I have a paper due on Friday and I have to present my quantitative and qualitative research study on Friday too. Needless to say, Iím stressed. Iíll be okay because I thrive on this kind of stress. Only 19 more days of school! Yikes! I sent out a faxed resume to a job in Michigan and I got back an application that I need to fill out. I hope I have a chance at this job because itís in Albion, Michigan, a small little town south of Lansing, west of Detroit so I wouldnít be caught up in a rat race. They are asking for a senior clinician to work with individuals and the person has to have a MSW. I can do everything they are asking for so maybe I might be a good candidate for the job. Now I just have to round up some referencesÖwish me luck!

I worked out this morning on the treadmill and I got a good workout. Though, I hate it when the workout room is warm. I like to go in there when it is a tad bit chilly and it feels good when you sweat. Speaking of weight room, I am the month of Aprilís Weight Room Member of the Month. I submitted my story and they choose me as the winner. I donít get any prizes but I get my picture posted on the weightroom board! Thatís good enough for me. Well folks, I am off to work, take care all-Kellie

My Vistors Since April 2, 2000

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