August 28, 2001

BODY: Argh! No progress here what so ever. You know those six pounds that I lost when I got sick? Well they came back with some friends so I’m back up the six plus 3 new pounds arrived…this is bull crap. I know I didn’t eat the best last week but to stabilize with 3 new pounds…what the heck? Though, I haven’t been in the pool in over 2.5 weeks because of vacation, being sick, and going to Louisville. I plan on being in the pool again tomorrow so those three pounds are going to be off in a Jiffy.

MIND: No growth or development in this area @ this time.

SPIRIT: Okay…so what is going on this month Kellie? Well honestly, I hate no writing so much but in the past week I have only been in my apartment to sleep…literally that is. I went to a conference in Louisville last week and I had a late workweek also. Then this week I went to wrestling at the Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids where WWF came to town (girl friend duty) so tonight I get home at 9:15 where I put in a 12.25 hour work day…okay so I need a break but I wanted to post. I’m going to stay home all weekend and organize my place. It’s a pit hole. I haven’t been able to clean in 4 weeks. My bathtub is gross, my items need dusting, and I have a pile of pans in the sink. I’m frustrated by my appetite lately and gaining this 3 extra pounds but I will put it in perspective…it will go away soon. Of course, what did I expect after not exercising for 2.5 weeks and eating out excessively. I’m thinking of majorily trying to get into the mode of rededicating myself…more details on that later though because I got to get to bed! Take care all- Kellie

August 20, 2001

BODY: Getting better…I think I’m pretty much back to normal after that nasty virus got into my system but let’s just say last week was hell and I’m totally glad it is over. I hate being sick. I decided to forgo the swimming this week to give my body one more week of rest just in case if I haven’t licked this yet but it is going to be difficult to get back into the swing of things next week. I lost a total of six pounds but of course when I got back to eating normal I craved a Big Mac with Large Fries from McDonalds and of course, it was a utter shock to my body and I was in the bathroom all Sunday morning from the grease. I’m not one of those fat chicks who dine primarily on Fast Food Hamburgers. Infact, the last time I had a Big Mac was probably back in October or September, so I’m good in that arena…but of course I’m bad at the civilized sit down restaurants. Honestly I think I am stuck at this weight right now. I was losing inches with the swimming but it’s been two weeks since I have been in the pool so I’m probably losing some muscle tone that I was developing. Urgh, why this when I was doing so well? I swear now I am totally paranoid about getting sick again…and I just want this weight off. You know what I’m tired of not reaching my goal…that scale is going to come down…but how? What is my answer? I need some time to figure it out what is going to work for me…I need weight watchers…I need that group support right now.

MIND: No growth in this area though I’m addicted to fashion mags currently. I got this great deal on subscriptions and I’m getting these mags for $2.95 a year like MODE, ELLE, JANE, and MADAMOISELLE…I just can’t get enough of them.

SPIRIT: Okay…so I was pretty down last week. The virus irritated me and I was upset that I couldn’t hang with my parents like I had planned. Basically, it was a wasted vacation for me. Then I found out that two sets of my friends from college are pregnant. Okay, it hits me. I am the last surviving friend from college who is not married yet…and thank goodness there are no babies in this future of mine for a long time. It just struck me…I’m 25 almost 26 years old and I’m still not married. Then I start to panic…shouldn’t it be time that I got married? Why am I not married yet? What’s wrong with me? Why am I not head over heals in love with Shawn? Why don’t I feel passion when it comes to him? Why don’t I crave him like I did with other boyfriends where I couldn’t keep my hands off of them? Why don’t I look at him like my parents or sister looks at her husband? I give Shawn some credit…he’s trying but honestly it is me…all me…and my fear of commitment to him and now he’s stating “Kellie, it’s time to shit or get off the pot”…and I’m just not ready. So with all these babies popping up, I’m getting scared, and worried because my time to get off the pot is coming…and I just don’t want to get off of it. Sorry for this but I just wanted to get it out…yuck! Tale care all-Kellie

August 13, 2001

When it rains it pours...I’m going to deviate from the norm mind body and spirit today. I shouldn’t even be writing today. Infact, I should be up at the cabin today but something happened on Friday. Around 4 PM in the afternoon, I was chatting with a co-worker and I got this ill sick feeling go through me. I thought it was just my period. So I kind of just blew it off. Then I got off at 5pm and I really started to feel horrible. My head was hot, really hot, so I stopped off at the drugstore in town to get a thermometer and some sanitary napkins. I took my temperature and I was at 98.9, which is normally high for me because I usually run about 97.8. So I drive to the cabin which is 20 minutes away. I get there and I feel really bad. My energy is null. I tell Carrie that I’m really feeling sick. So I go to the bathroom to change out of a tampon and into a pad then, I take my temperature again…and it’s 101.8 okay…so within 20 minutes it went from normal to a fever. I feel like I’m going to pass out and I’m scared. My pulse was racing, my breathing was shallow like, and I thought I was having toxic shock because I matched all the symptoms. I take two Advil to see if my temperature would reduce. Ten minutes later, I’m up to 102.7. Dennis was gone from the cabin to get some groceries so I tell Carrie to call 911. She calls 911 and the ambulance comes. Dennis gets back and he’s freaking out. Then Shawn gets there and he’s freaking out. They load me up in the hospital and they take me to the hospital. They put an IV in me. I get there and the temp is down to 101.8. They take some blood tests and some x-rays. They found that I have the start of Pneumonia / Bronchitis and I have the flu. Okay, some I feel kind of dorky having the ambulance take me to the hospital in the it but I was scared. They discharged me and told me to drink plenty of fluids, have a liquid diet for 24 hours, and take 2 extra strength Tylenol every 4-6 hours. On Saturday I feel okay. My temp is around 99.5 – 100. Then at 8am that morning my parents got a call from a neighbor in KY. One of the horses is down and she wasn’t getting up her breathing was shallow and they thought she was going to pass soon. The neighbors were wondering if they should shoot the horse. My dad said that she should die naturally and then the neighbors offered to look for someone to bury her on the property. Annie was around 35 – 37 years old. She came into family in 1987 when my sister was 10. Her horse trainers gave her the horse as a present. Annie was a Girl Scout horse/classic stable horse and was severely abused when we got her. My family took good care of her and nurtured her back. In the past two years, she started to get skinny looking. My parents fed her special grain every day to fatten her up. So now was the time, she was dying. My parents were already worried about me and now they had to worry about Annie. I stayed in the cabin all Saturday to rest. I was still running a slight fever but I just took it easy. Then we got that call around 8pm; she passed away peacefully while the other horse Love looked on. So my parents got her buried in the back of the property near the dogwood tree. This is the second animal that my parents had to bury this year, first pup-pup my mom’s dog whom my mom is still struggling to get over, and now Annie. So it was a sad day. Saturday night, I go to sleep around 10:00 and I wake up around 4 in the morning. I’m covered in sweat and I’m running around a 101.8 temperature. I’m very thirsty so I get some Gatorade and water and I choke down two aspirin. I go back to bed and when I wake up at 7, I’m still running around 101.5 temperature. So Shawn is going home so I decided the best thing for me would to go home and rest. I start to ball because my parents don’t come up every day, you know…but instead of putting them at risk and myself, I go home. I rested all yesterday. The temperature is about the same all day. I rented some movies and just rested. I go to bed around 10 PM and then I wake up at 1:30 and I’m very hot, my head is just burning up. So I take my temperature and of course it’s 102.5 great…back up again. I take the aspirin and drink a lot of water, juice, and Gatorade. Then finally, my temperature is back to normal again. I have some energy back. Hopefully it will stay that way for the rest of the day and then maybe I can go back up to the cabin. I’m not too sure if I am out of the woods yet so I will see. I just don’t want to push myself too hard. Wish me strength! Take care all –Kellie

August 6, 2001

BODY: Got to the pool today at 6:20 and the life guard wasn’t there. The ladies informed me that they were waiting for him to show because they called the supervisor and he was going to come in. So he got there at 6:35 and I did my usual laps so I can’t complain but it was a mild inconvenience. The swimming is doing well. My times are slowly getting better over time but I’m trying now to go longer without stopping. Right now I can swim 400m (16 laps) without stopping my goal is to make it to 500 (20 laps) without stopping. For all you swimmer buffs, I count my 25m as a lap. I know there are people out there that do not count it like that but, I do…makes me feel better :). Now if I could get there a little earlier I could swim longer but I’m still struggling to get out of bed. I did really well food wise last week, even though I was under some stress, I didn’t turn to food! Amazing. Oh, and I didn’t go MIA due to choice either…read below and I will give you all the whole scoop on that situation.

MIND: No growth in this area but I did drown myself in YDKJ (You Don’t Know Jack) trivia game on the computer because of the phone situation. It was the only thing that kept me sane…see below for explanation.

SPIRIT: Okay, so I need to catch you all up. On Tuesday morning when I woke up, my phone was dead. Nothing! So I start wondering…did I pay my bill, yes. Then I thought my computer was just tying up the line…nope, wasn’t that. So then I called the phone company and told them about it and they stated that the phone couldn’t be fixed until Thursday…Thursday, I was ticked but what could I do….I was at the mercy of the phone company. So I tried to keep myself busy and not think about the phone…I drowned myself in YDKJ and other various computer games. Thursday came and when I got home…NOTHING! So I call up Ameritech and they stated that the guy needed access to my home because it was the inside lines fault. So I start to freak out because I don’t have line backer service and the cost of a technician would be close to $75! Then I started to think…we’ll wouldn’t there be some signs that my phone was going? I never had static on the line so then I question the Ameritech woman asking her those questions like wouldn’t there be signs of my phone going and how do I know that I am not getting ripped off and then she got furious with me stating that Ameritech doesn’t rip people off, etc. So I just scheduled an appointment for Saturday morning. Friday passed, no phone…Saturday 12:00 pm…no Ameritech. They were supposed to show between 8 – 12. So I start freaking out. Then I check my voice mail and on Friday Ameritech called me and stated that the phone tests okay and they will be canceling the appointment on Saturday. Okay, so my phone WAS NOT OKAY…IT WAS DEAD. I’m frustrated so I call Ameritech one last time..and I am bawling at this time. I talk to a supervisor, Barry, and explain the situation to him. He does some checks and my phone isn’t okay and it’s not inside but an outside line problem. Then he’s like…ma’am it will be okay…you phone will be on tomorrow at 6:00pm. So I make it another day without the phone. At 6:00 pm, it comes back. Barry got it on but all I can say is that it was one of the most frustrating events I have ever been through. Okay so maybe I was psycho about calling and crying but at that point, I was at my breaking point. I couldn’t handle it anymore and crying just sounded better. So the point is…living without a phone sucks…Ameritech expect Barry sucks…and oh, I can’t wait till I get an Ameritech telemarketer….hahahaha…my revenge. Okay, Enough about the phone!

Last Friday, we had the golf outing for work. It was a blast. To the right is me and my trophy that I won for being the person with the most amount of whiffs (where I can’t hit the ball). They gave us a ½ day off with pay, lunch, and golf for free. Plus the highlight of the day, was to soak coworkers with a water gun. Folks, there is nothing funnier then watching staff at a mental health facility kick back and attack each other with water guns…I’m even plotting to get a bigger gun next year.

Went shopping @ Hudson’s this weekend (now called Marshall Fields but it will always be Hudson’s to me) and for $100 I got $1500 worth of merchandise. Man, I can shop for bargains. Unfortunately, nothing is for me. I wish but I can’t even fit any of the stuff…it’s for ebay. Man, if I was a 14, I would be styling. I got this hot pair of silk trousers from Dana Buchman for $11 retail is $325; I got an Anne Klein Jacket for $20 that retailed for $475, and a whole bunch of other steals. I’m going to hold on for a little while before I post them on ebay because the timing for that stuff is off a little and I want to get maximum price for my wears. My coworker is opening up an antique shop so I’m going to have a vintage clothes and other knick knacks booth there. Most of my clothes are from goodwill or stuff that I have seen at estate sales so I’m going to go into the collectible business now officially on November 2. I’m going to work there a couple times a month so I can start to know the business of collectibles. I know I’m young for that business but I need to start learning now so I can start to pick stuff up and save it for the future. Well that’s it for me tonight, take care all-Kellie

My Vistors Since August 6, 2001

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