December 21, 2001

PHEW! Too much has been going on since the last time I wrote. Okay 1st Shawn lost his job out of the blue. Last Wednesday, they pulled him and the other graphic designers in the office and they let go of 12 workers. They were told to pack their stuff and they escorted them out of the building. He got a 2.2 month severance and he's on unemployment now making 66% of what used to earn. He thought he was secure at this job. They were constantly having him and the other designers work on items for the company. McGraw Hill the company he worked for decided to lay off 2000 workers worldwide. Merry Christmas to those bastards! Though, thank goodness it happened when it did. Shawn was going to buy a brand new Jeep Liberty. Things have been going exceptionally well with him and I lately. So that puts me in an odd situation, do we shack up or not? This is a huge decision for him and me. I wasn't prepared for this but I would be willing to adapt. I know that it might take 5 months for him to get a job at least. He has about $2000 in savings right now. His apartment is $550 a month plus utilities. A whole unemployment check would be used to pay his rent and his car payment. This event has even made me questioned my own emergency plan. I don't have one. I have about $500 worth of float money in my account, no savings, nothing. If something happened to my job, I would be in trouble, very in trouble. I was paying $200 extra a month for my financial aid bill and attempting to vigorously pay off my credit card (which I haven't used in a year). I will have a savings account in the New Year...that's my new years resolution.

Problem #2 my truck broke down in KY. This is what happened: My truck was making this strange sound like a rubbing sound in the front axle and now my whole front end axle has to be fixed. It's going to be around $1200 to fix. My mom and dad are paying $800 and I am paying the remainder. It started after dad took it into the dealer to get a recall fixed. By mere luck (yah, right) started to make that noise. They first said it was the wheel bearing, got that fixed, and it didn't help so we took it somewhere else to get the tires rotated...nothing but the noticed that the inner bearing was shot. We took it to another dealer and they thought it was the seal...they fixed wasn't that so they have to now replace the whole front axel of the truck. Argh! My parents are great because they are going to let me take their truck home on the 25th and I will trade them for my vehicle in a couple of weeks. They are so giving. IíŽm down at their place right now. I'm here until Sunday, then they we are driving up to Carries (my sister), then I will head home and they will check a ride with their friends back to KY. Complicated huh?

So with all this little stress, am I behaving? I'm maintaining but I am not losing. I've been eating around 3 Christmas cookies a day. No exercise besides walking. I think IíŽm going to avoid the scale for a while. I figure I must be eating around 50g of fat a day, calories probably around 1600-1900. I should be maintaining....hopefully.

Since I might not log an entry again until after Christmas, you all have a happy holiday! Take care, eat right, and maintain during this frenzied season! -Kellie

December 6, 2001

BODY: I just figured something out about swimming. It was driving me nuts that I could not get back to my old swim times. I'm been swimming for about six months now and I would have thought I would be back to my old times but I wasn't. After many hours of pondering, I figured it outíKthe pool had a divider in it so I must have been only swimming 20m instead of 25m. Well that makes sense, doesn't it! At least I figured it out. I had a good week in the pool this week. I'm gaining more laps and my times are vastly improving. I've changed around my eating a little bit this past week. IíŽm eating egg whites in the morning instead of special k with strawberries, lunch I usually eat a salad paired with some type of protein, and dinner protein mixed with some veggies. The picture is showing the best pork tenderloin I have ever seen. I went grocery shopping last night and I got it for $2.00, what a deal! Concerning weight, I'm still down for the past month. Not bad since I haven't seen the scale move in months!

MIND: Growth where? Nope not today I read Shape magazine though. I'm still mixed on that magazine. I hate how they use super thin women. How about some real women with a little meat on them wouldn't that be more realistic?

SPIRIT: I've been hitting a lot of diet sites out there in cyberspace the past few days. If my old fellow online friends Anji and Melissa are out girls are doing great! Anji, congrats to your impending marriage and Melissa, I'm proud of you and your determination! I just noticed though I've only dropped 25 pounds from my highest weight in the past 3 years. I was down to 190 but when I moved back to Michigan, that scale rebounded back up. So basically, I'm not a loser. Though, I refuse to beat myself up for not being one. Losing weight not only takes determination, patience, discipline, commitment, but it takes time. It's like I'm heading in the right direction but IíŽm trying to kick the quick sand away. Right when I do well, I honestly get pulled down back to my old habits. So I'm changing those habits, one by one, and refusing to give up. I have too much determination to give up. When looking at my life though, I know what I need to change but it's totally the follow through where I fail I need to follow through on my commitment to myself. I need to be my own biggest cheerleader. Then it should all fall into place. Honestly, weightwatchers is the best program out there without a doubt. This month when I was journalizing and tracking points, I was losing but when I stopped tracking, I stayed the same. Does that tell me somethingyou betcha Kellie darling, you got to track your points and of course, eat better on the weekend - Take care all-kellie

December 4, 2001

BODY: IíŽm continuing on my quest this week for healthiness. I'm making some wise choices this week. I'm being good, I'm eating more veggies, and passing up the crap. I think work potlucks are the worst but today they had soup and salad so it was so healthy. I even passed up the pie, apple pie, my favorite. Went swimming this morning and it's going good in the pool. I'm up to 24 (48) laps. I swim straight for 20 minutes then I take a 1 minute rest around lap 15 (30). I'm seeing more definition in my arms and my hips. I'm still a pear but I'm thinning!

MIND: I'm getting Jane Green's book Babyville from Amazon UK. I'm so excited! They won't release it here until summer of 2003 so I am back to reading. I got her book Bookends back in July and it is a must read. Her characters really hit home. Jane wrote my favorite all time novel, Jemima J excellent book on women and weight. Check it out if you haven't.

SPIRIT: I'm getting pissed at all of these pay diet sites now. First DietWatch and now probably Cyberdiet,I haven't been there in a while for time but according to the 100+ board, it looks like the sight is going to start charging people sometime in the new year. Now that sucks because people get a lot of support from that page. If its a pay site, I think they will see people drop like flies. Argh why does everything have to turn into a pay site?

I'm supposed to see Ozzy and his Christmas concert ensemble next week but he is canceling shows left and right because he broke his leg. I would be happy if he would just prop his butt in a chair, he doesn't have to move really, he doesn't. On another music note, I refound my old CDs. It sounds corny but I forgot how much I loved Color Me Badd, and then of course, I found my Nine Inch Nails CD downward spiral so I'm totally jamming with them. What a combo, CMB and NIN, well that's all for me tonight! Take care all-Kellie

December 3, 2001

BODY: Ate okay this weekend. Shawn and I actually ate in for 75% of the meals (which is truly amazing for us). We dined on some lowfat homemade calazones on Friday and Saturday we had a pork tenderloin (which I got at the grocery store for $2.99 because they were clearance them out. We ate out once but I made some wise choices in that departmentíKand the reason why we had to eat out is because I was working the shop. I have to work once a month because I have a booth there. I didn't swim on Friday last week because I feared that it would make my cold worse. MondayíŽs is my day off for swimming. I'll get up bright and early tomorrow and go. I got this cool swim cap at Gaylains yesterday. It has red man eating fishíK. I have to spruce up swimming somehow.

MIND: Not too much growth. I'm thinking of devising an off line journal for my own personal growth. I think it would be nice. Typically, my off line journals were just used to bitch but I think IíŽve moved past that a little Well see how it goes.

SPIRIT: Man is there a ESA around? I need to attend an ESTATE SALE ANONOMOUS! I'm an addict, I'm telling you. There's nothing better than an estate sale. Grand Rapids this week has 5 sales this week. I hit one today and spend $30. I bought a whole bunch of little stuff for the shop and I got me two Retro lamps check them apples out are they hot or what? I have to stop though because my Hoosier is waiting for me in Kentucky. Apparently, one of my neighbors had a friend who is selling hers for $225, now that is a bargain. I'm going to see it on the 17th. I hope it's in good condition because I am just dying for one so I can show off my jadeite collection instead of them being stored in a closet where I cannot appreciate them. Well that's it for me today take care all- Kellie

My Vistors Since December 3, 2001

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